Lifestyle & Culture

Even as Teen Births Drop, Teen Moms Still Exist and Sometimes Struggle

By Emmanuella Agyemang

The second and last time her father kicked her out of the house, 17-year-old Melody Mota and her son, Aiden, who was 6-months-old, got sent to live with relatives in the Dominican Republic.

She’s been there since January, mostly cut off from her New York family and struggling to get by on $150 that her baby’s father, a New York City Parks Department worker, sends every two weeks. 

“I wish that me and my son’s father were better prepared,” said Mota, who dropped out of school during her sophomore year.

While births to teen moms reached a record low of 18 per 1,000 girls and women in 2019 — New York City’s teen births declined by 55.1% from 2009 to 2018 — those young mothers still exist. Melody Mota, Breanna Carty, Tiarra Jimmette Gonzalez, and Chemika Fuller said they manage their roles, the joys, and low points, as best they can.

“This life is definitely not easy at all … You have to be strong while doing all the things you enjoy,” said Fuller, a 20-year-old mom to a 1-year-old boy.

“It’s not about you anymore, it’s not about your environment, it’s about your child,” said Gonzalez, 18, whose baby is 1-month-old.

For her own part, right now, Mota said she is trying to save money so that she can return to the United States and meet goals such as finishing her high school education. She has no idea how long it will take to save enough to get back to New York and, on top of that, afford to live in New York.

Breanna Carty knows her life is different from the lives of many young women her age. She’d gotten pregnant when she was 18, delivered a baby during COVID-19, and put her studies at Borough of Manhattan Community College on hold until fall 2021. She now is planning to open Pretty Gyal Code, a lash business, in September 2021. 

As much as she adores her 1-year-old baby boy Cairo, mothering has taken a toll on her mental health. 

“It’s mentally, not always financially, you can make money anywhere,” said Carty, who’d also endured six months of postpartum depression that has gotten better but also eased up.

Gonzalez was pregnant throughout her senior year of high school. Although things such as changing diapers and feeding the baby, she said, have come naturally to her, she is still trying to adjust to an infant’s inconsistent sleep schedule. 

Many things changed after Gonzalez’s pregnancy, including her body, and her biggest insecurity now is a stomach she wishes would shrink. 

Chemika Fuller, a sophomore English major at Lehman College, said taking care of a baby is an education in itself.

Early in her pregnancy, she had contemplated getting an abortion. But, Fuller added, “I said to myself that I could still live my life. Just because I have this kid does not mean I will stop myself from achieving my goals … ”

She’s learning to better manage her time to help meet those goals of mothering and getting a college degree.

“People won’t understand if they don’t have kids. That pain and hurt and amazement all at the same time comes with having a kid, it’s an overwhelming process,” Carty said.

It’s a process with many responsibilities and routines. After Mota bathes and feeds him, she often goes to her grandmother’s unisex clothing boutique. Other times, she takes her son outside for walks around the neighborhood.  Despite all of that, Mota said, “My son is the only reason why I am standing.”